Nicola Tweed

I'm so excited to introduce my first guest blogger, the gorgeous soulful spirited healer Colleen Van Heerden. Yesterday, on the blog (read here), I thanked her for the wonderful healing she'd done on my dodgy leg and the balance she'd brought back into my life. Something I will forever be grateful for! 

Today she's done this refreshingly honest post for me on self-sabotage - a topic I've been meaning to blog about for ages but blessed that she's beat me to it....



Hi, My name is Colleen van Heerden and I am working on my self sabotaging behavior.

I really didn’t quite understand the concept of this. It is only for the last 7 years that I started to grasp it within myself.

I used to be very overweight, weighing 114kg in total. I struggled to walk up stairs, I struggled to run, cycle and do any exercise. I reached a stage of : I don’t want to be fat anymore, its exhausting. Coming to this deep realization made me feel shame, guilt and disgust as I really didn’t comprehend how I became so fat. The answers I found were scary but I discovered I self sabotage myself. It sounds simple but it’s a complex topic.

When I was unhappy, I ate. When I was sad, I ate. When I was happy, I ate, anything from roasted bbq chicken from Woolworths to Macdonalds. “Slap” chips was part of my weekly diet. I also found that when I had to subdue my intuition and submit to my boss or grandmother, I ate. It felt comforting to eat and feel good, when I emotionally didn’t feel good at all, I also felt uncomfortable in my clothes.

I cried when I had to buy new clothes or shoes, as the person staring back at me in the cubicle wasn’t who I “felt” or who I pictured myself to be.

I felt I needed to address my self sabotaging issues. I made a decision in 2008,  when I returned from India that I would become more me. The person I feel within. I started jumping on my trampoline, in our room, I did this for 20 minutes everyday. When I felt confident enough I started walking in the mornings, everyday.

It felt good to take back my control, to address my self sabotaging issues.

I also started eating less chocolates and chips, I started addressing my feelings of sadness, anger, bitterness, and shame.

Truth be told : “Im an introvert” – I don’t like talking as it is a waste of energy, so learning to speak my truth was a very big lesson for me.

My next lesson was affirming my boundary of saying NO! and meaning it.

I learnt as a fat person, I’m a people pleaser, I love everyone being happy and pleased, however this isn’t a good thing. I was self sacrificing myself to keep others happy, then feeling resentful and bitter.

I had to learn to affirm saying no and explaining why in a non-invasive way.

Part of addressing my self sabotage was taking full responsibility for where I was at.

I embarked on a journey to heal myself and help others do the same.

My method of therapy was both reiki and massage. I started reiking myself to heal the little girl within, and then progressed to my current time in life.

This helped shift so many barriers and helped me address the self sabotage pattern of overeating and learning to become the new me.

Now, I still have my moments, but I have learnt to love me more, to write more, to reiki me more, to address any issue that pops up. 

I’ve learnt to own my “shit” and deal with what I need to, in a warm and loving way.




This is me before & after Self-Sabotaging....

Self Sabotage examples:
Over mothering your partner
Saying yes but meaning no
Self neglect  diet, exercise, nurturing, self love
Destructive patterns : “bad” relationships
Addiction Drugs : usage of any : smoking, drinking, taking recreational drugs
Not speaking your truth
Subduing your spirit with any substance
Lack of Discipline
Subscribing to being a Victim

Addressing your Inner brat to beating Self Sabotage
Discipline : DO self talk sessions with you
Self love : Make Life affirming decisions for you
Taking time out for you
Writing
Painting
Being creative
Nurturing your spirit
Laughing more
Joy filled life
Gratitude
Peace filled
Being Victorious within you for you

I am on this journey of addressing my inner self, so I can become my true self. Wishing you love on your journey.

Feel free to contact Colleen : whats app 0846030604.

Last week I did a post to London to let her know how much I missed her, how I missed her energy and the dear friends she still holds in her embrace. It was a nostalgic post brought on by watching the movie 'About Time' and it made me very sad to think that that part of my life is over.

This week however I'm loving what is and where I am....

Dear South Africa,

Thank you for a 2 minute commute to work, to the gym and to the grocery store.

Thank you for lazy scorching hot sunny days and Sunday's spent by the swimming pool.

Thank you for beautifully ripe and tasty avocados.

Thank you for 'family' lunches, dinners, tea & cake and what the heck visits.

Thank you for sparrows fart runs.

Thank you for fresh mint, ripe lemons and juicy oranges fresh from my garden.

Thank you for Nik Naks, Cheesecurls, Creme soda and Bilton that doesn't cost an arm and a leg!

Thank you for Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday Braais.

Thank you for Spur and proper Chicken Schnitzel.

Thank you for clear blue skies and green green grass, cliche I know but oh so true!

Thank you for after work braais at Midmar and surprise visits from my Mum.

Thank you for weekend visits to the Drakensberg gardens and time with my sister and her family.

Thank you for my wheels, I still can't believe I've got them. Everyday I say thank you that I get to drive around in my car.

Thank you for endless amounts of space.

Thank you for early morning rises and breakfast at the table before work.

and lastly Thank you for bringing me home, keeping me safe and truly making me happy.

South Africa you totally Rock!

xxxx

Overnight oats in a jar would have been perfect to eat, with sleepy eyes, at my 9-5 desk and I'm so kicking myself for not discovering this genius idea a little earlier... like maybe say when I used to live in London and couldn't quite muster up enough energy to feed my precious body before work.

I've done a little research and quite a lot of bloggers out there are doing theirs with almond milk, not something that comes cheap here in S.A, so I've been doing mine with water and they taste just as devine!

The simplest way to do them is to put some oats in a jar, cover them with water and leave over night. Then in the morning add a banana, cinnamon, honey, a teaspoon of coconut oil et Voila!

Actually you can add whatever the hell you like as I discovered, with drool dribbling down my chin, the other evening on pinterest!

I'm going to be experimenting with my oats over the coming weeks, so look out for a post soon with recipes and pics of my oating journey.

pic 1 source // pic 2 source // pic 3 source

When I went for an interview at Virgin Active in London there was one fact that really stuck with me and that was that the average gym member goes to the gym 0.01 times per week. Shut the front door... that's not even once a week, a month, a year?!? Nicola that's like never, jeepers are you serious?

Ever wondered how big gyms can continuously sign up new members, like every single day, well now you know. I'm not slating V.A at all, I'm a huge fan, I'm just pointing out that you might and quite possibly just not use that New Year's resolution gym membership (yes it's true) so why not try something different and kinda free this year?

The below list is not just any old random list I pulled off the internet, this is a tried and tested list! I'm a fan of everyone single of these sites and fitness mentors, I use them all the time and love the work that they do! Some I've been a fan of for over 4 years and some I've only just discovered...

Yogaglo
This is a new discovery and I flippin' dig it! Ok so this one is not free but it's a steal at $18 a month for unlimited yoga classes right in the comfort of your own home. You can choose from Astanga to Hatha to Kundalini Yoga and even Yoga for specific parts of your body - perfect for those who run, cycle or want toned arms. There's an online community with new videos added daily so you'll never get bored!

Fitness Blender
I discovered this couple half way through 2013 when I was looking for some easier and new HIIT (high intensity interval training). Each move is demonstrated before performed making it great for beginners and super easy to follow. All their workouts are free however they do sell meal plans and fitness programs if you're looking to get serious!

12 Minute Athlete
Krista believes that life should be enjoyed, not wasted in a gym. Yay a girl after my own heart! 12 minute Athlete is as it says, 12 minutes of exercise daily. Expect burpees, push ups, kettlebell swings, box jumps, skipping and more. 12 minutes sounds easy but let me tell you ain't! Short but sweet, 12 minute athlete, is perfect if you've been moaning about not having the time to exercise.

Bodyrock.tv
Ultimate favie! If you look past the slight sexual nature of the filming and the intimidatingly ripped Lisa you'll achieve one heck of a toned body if you rock out the workouts on this site. Last October I did their 30 day challenge and felt on top of the world (with a little six pack) by the end. It was amaze balls! What I love the most about Bodyrock.tv is the awesome community they have, everyone is so supportive! So if you're keen for a challenge, rock on over because they just started a new challenge on the 15th.

Way of Gray
Sophie Gray's instagram is pure fitness motivation, this girl has an ebook that's apparently ram packed with workouts that can be performed anywhere and are guaranteed to burn calories well after you've finished working out. All her workouts are less than 30 minutes and require no fitness equipment at all! Perfect! Def on my ebook wish list for 2014!

I'd love to know, in the comments below, if you've signed up for a gym membership this year and how many times you've been going or if you've decided to join the online fitness revolution and rock your workout from the comfort of your lounge.

I've given 2014 blogging goals and words to live by and now it's officially time to give it an anthem!

And Imagine Dragon's - On Top of The World is it!

I'm obsessed with the happiness of this song, definitely a bum shaking, smile plastering, memory making tune for 2014!

Have you read The Impossible HQ blog yet? What? No? Seriously where have you been all this time?! Joel's blog is one of those blogs that you so need to add to your bookmark bar and like never ever ever remove. It's the kick up the butt, pull up your socks kinda motivation that ya just sometimes need.

Joel is a straight shooting, no bullshit kinda guy. He's got a story, just like we all do, but he doesn't let it define him and that's what has me coming back time and time again to get my arse kicked!

He's the guy behind the CST therapy, you know the one that boosts your immune system, promotes fat loss, improves circulation, beats depression, increases fertility, increases energy and even keeps your hair shiny and your skin super soft.

Tick, tick, tick, where can I get me a little some of that therapy you ask?

In your shower, every morning and every evening! Turn the cold tap on and enjoy!

Cold Shower Therapy takes you through all the emotions you experience when you are about to do something that sucks. Emotions like procrastination, fear, laziness and an attitude of what's the point?! You're feeling the resistance that's holding you back from doing the thing that is going to make you a better person!

These emotions come up in our lives all the time. When you sit down to write a blog post, before you peel yourself off the couch to go for a run, starting a new project, making a scary phone call... you know, all the things you know  you should be doing in order for you to become the person you want to become!

CST Therapy is all about changing your mentality.....

'Take cold showers first thing in the morning. As soon as you get up. Jump in the shower. Close your eyes and turn the temperature to cold. Not just cold. Not ice cold. Try we-just-piped-this-water-in-from -Antarctica-because-the-penguins-won’t-swim-in-it-cold. Do this 30 days in a row. I call it cold shower therapy because it, quite literally is a therapy.


Ok so what's the deal? Well I've been procrastinating with this challenge for about 2 years now (how embarrassing, can't believe I just admitted that!) and I think it's now time to 'Just dive in' as Joel says and conquer this challenge.

From today, for 28 days, I'll be shunning the hot tap in aid of some much needed CST Therapy and I'd love for you guys to join me.

If you're keen drop me an email or leave a comment in the below and let's show fear just how weak of an emotion it really is!

1// Average people earn money doing things they don't love. Rich people follow their passions.

2// Money is abundantly everywhere

3// Wallet feng shui

4// Scarcity vs abundance

5// 3 ways you could be blocking your abundance

Apart from one missed morning run this week I was quite proud of myself! 5km is defintely getting easier and the earlier morning endorphin rush is becoming very addictive. My run on Friday says only 3.57km but really it was about 6.5km...  I just forgot to start my watch. Silly me!